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How to Deal with Writers (A Survival Guide)

May 16, 2017 Maura Milan

For those of you are interested in dating or marrying writer, a word of caution. Writers can't turn their brains off. 

For every road trip, airplane ride, dinner date, us writers will always be thinking about writing. And good luck having conversations with us, we'll nod and shake our heads to whatever you're saying, but what we're really thinking about it is how to get our main characters from Point A to Point B, how to kill off side characters, and how our blasted stories are going to end.

Here's a survival guide for anyone who has to deal with writers in their lives.

1. Appease us with sweet drinks.

Matcha lattes are my personal favorite. But here's a few others to choose from: milk tea with boba, thai iced tea, soy lattes, raw smoothies with kale and dates, mocha frappucinos, champagne. The list goes on for eternity.

2. Talk to us about our writing

Writing is a very solitary act. And it can get lonely.  So it's nice when someone asks us about our characters, our stories, our fictional boy crushes (yes, I've fallen for a few of my characters). Sometimes we need a "That's awesome!" from someone who will listen just to keep us sane.

3. Don't talk to us about our writing

Like I said before, writing is a very solitary act. Our stories and characters are very precious to us, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. 

Don't give us writing advice unless we ask for it. Just a few words can knock us into the depths of despair.

4. Respect the Cave! 

Writers hate the sunshine. Even though we know that Vitamin D is very necessary to our health, we'd rather be nesting in a dark room, staring at a computer.  And that's not because we're vampires or nightlurkers, it's mostly because we're writing, or trying to write while we stare at the blinking line of sadness/infinite possibilities on our Microsoft Word or Scrivener app. Even if we aren't clackity-clacking on our keyboards, we are still thinking.  And to us, that is very important work before the work. We absolutely need this time!

So if you invite us somewhere, and we say no, please don't take offense!

5. Just let us cry.

Writing is filled with rejection. Most writers try to keep a stoic face, but eventually we all crack. Sentences like "The story didn't speak to me," "The writing isn't quite there yet," "I'm going to have to pass," will make us wither up like a dying bouquet of flowers.

But don't panic! After a good cry, we'll eventually feel better about ourselves.

6. Buy us a puppy for our mental health.

'Nuff said.

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